Mono Teachings

Mono has taught me a few things.  I have listed some here.  I honestly could do one of these a DAY!!!  (Maybe there are more than a few here.  The rest are free, too, y'all!)

• You can actually feel like you've rested TOO MUCH.
• Beds are actually kinda boring after a few weeks in them.
• Online retail therapy is actually as satisfying as being in public.
• You can spend more than you make in a day on a down comforter.
• My hubby loves me more than I realize.  He has taken SUCH good care of me!
• Buying hairspray online is cheaper than in real life.
• I say "in real life" a lot, like the internet is FAKE.
• I really do depend on social interaction.
• Mono is worse than you think.
• Sometimes when friends/family say, "call me if you need something", they actually do mean it.
• Lowes Foods to go is the best thing everrrr.  (Okay, already knew that.)
• Short term disability is not just for pregnancy. (I didn't wanna. Nurse at Pentair said I should.)
• My boss is one of the most compassionate, understanding people I know!
• My employees are so capable of stepping up and taking on more in my absence.  Thought it probably but know for SURE now.
• Cards are really seriously one of my fave things.  I have gotten a few and I treasure them so much!!!
• Reading the Bible is so much better in a Bible study format.  I like instant reassurance that I know what the Bible is saying.

What's this blog for?

I hope that everyone knows that this blog is very personal to me.   I'm not a famous person, someone with a ton of blogger friends or even anyone remotely important.  I don't promote my blog, I don't talk about it outside of Twitter (where I have a handful of followers) and a few times on FB and that's just the way I want it.  Blogging is therapeutic for me.

See, I've always had this thing about something being in my head and needing to get it out.  Whether it was scratching an idea for work on a pad beside my bed at 4 am or calling someone RIGHT back to tell them something new that just popped into my brain five seconds after we just hung up - I am not a "mull it over" kinda gal.  I prefer to download it and be done with it.  That's what blogging is about to me.  Whether it's a big topic or a little one, something that has absolutely no importance outside of my world or something that could potentially make someone feel a certain emotion - I do it for me.  It's one of the FEW selfish things of my life.

I have tried really hard to continue to put things out there that are real, honest, and timely.  I enjoy that people usually contact me privately about things I say and we have a healthy dialogue about it!  I just never want anyone to say "who really cares what she has to say?"....because that would make me wonder the same thing, shut down and retreat.  I've fought with self-esteem issues all of my life and me putting myself out there is a big step.  I hope if you're reading, you'll feel good about that.  That you are reading something that I probably never thought anyone besides myself would read.  Thank you, thank you for allowing me to be me and to share a little piece of my life.

Guilty of a Happy Marriage

I feel bad from time to time about talking about how happy Mike and I are....and then, I stop.  Because I *am* happy and I don't think I should feel guilty about that.  I am blessed and I know it.  I'm appreciative and I thank the Lord for it every day.  Is it perfect?  No.  Do we argue? Yes.  Does it last for days?  NO!

I don't know how to explain it but we are both so very appreciative of one another that we just simply don't let time pass without letting each other KNOW that.  We are very careful to not sweat the small stuff.  We are open, honest, and truly try to make each other happy every single day.

And if you have a similar relationship - good for you!  And if you don't, I sincerely hope one day you do.

Either way, I won't apologize about my happiness.  Ever again.

Slow Down

Slow Down. 

So, I’ve never been really good at SEEING signs or UNDERSTANDING an answer from God.  Sure, I’d ask.  I’d pray.  I’d hope that I was doing the right thing and I’d eventually seem to get it right most of the time.  But, I wasn’t ever really sure.  Mostly, I’d lack the peace of feeling that my path was the right one.  I have also always tried to look at the good in every situation.  I’ve tried to pick things apart to feel like I could see why God would allow things to happen.  Even in a big picture kind of way, I’d feel like I had a vague understanding of a reason behind why a loving God would let bad things happen to good people.  It’s one thing to believe in God’s plan and another thing to trust it when it means that something bad has to happen to you or a loved one. 

I truly believe that I have been CHANGED lately.  I’m not sure if I am less stubborn or more faithful.  If I have more clarity or less ignorance.  One thing I know for sure….I asked for something.  God provided it.  Ever since I heard the news that I had mono, I have been a little down in the dumps.  I have had LOTS of rest and sleep and naps and laying around feeling terrible.  I have thought of good reasons as to why this happened now and not a month before or after.  I have also asked God why.  I have been patient to hear his answer.  I have been faithful in my prayer about it as well.  I believe I have my answer.  I almost feel like I’m breaking some confidence between He and I, because He spoke to me so privately, so personally.  But I have to share it.  I was talking about my issues with mono to a loved one and I said…”I don’t know if this was to tell me to slow down, but if so, I’ve done just that.”  At a later time, I wondered if that was it.  Could that have been the purpose of this hardship I’m enduring?  There are many times that I feel like I am running so fast but getting nowhere.  I feel like I’m trying to be the best mom, wife, daughter, aunt, employee, manager, friend – PERSON…that I fail at all of those things a little bit more over time because so many times one takes away from another.  Did I need to slow down?  Doesn’t that contradict getting more done, faster, in a shorter time, in order to please EVERYONE?   I should digress a bit and say that I also just started a new Beth Moore Bible study that focuses on living life to the fullest.  Hmm.  Related?  Maybe.  Okay, back to now.  So…I am questioning this in my mind, in my prayers.  And then, it happens.  I am working from home on Monday for a bit as to not totally lose touch.  I turn on my iTunes music to help me work (it helps me so much).  And a song that I don’t even remember downloading comes to life.  I actually look at the title because when it first comes on it says, “Alright, let’s rock it” and it’s unfamiliar.  The song title is “Slow Down”.  I decide to stop the email that I’m typing and do just that…slow down.  So I listen to Third Day belt out this tune.  The lyrics say:

 “Tell me to slow down, 

if You think that the road that I’m on is going nowhere, 

Tell me to slow down, 

if You know that I’m going too fast for my own good.”  

Tears stream down my face as I figure this out.  This is my answer.  It even says, 

“And, Oh, I don’t want to let go, 

of all the things that I know, 

are keeping me, 

away from my life.”  

Have I been so busy – too busy – to really fix things that are broken?  My faith?  My relationship with my Lord?  I have been reading all of my Beth Moore study even though I’ve not been able to attend and it’s working on my heart.  It is making me want to change and live a fuller life.  Is this one of the ways that I need to do it? To slow down?  Slow down in order to live a life more abundant?  I've been forced to do it.  I haven't had a bit of a choice in the matter.  My Doctor tells me to "rest, rest, and when you feel a bit better, go back to bed!"  But, how am I supposed to take care of my family?  Let them take care of YOU.  How am I supposed to be there for my employees?  Let them take the reins.    How am I supposed to get everything done?  You won't, and life will go on.  I can't even express in words how liberating this is for me.  I don't HAVE TO be everything or do it all or get it all done TODAY.  Because you know what?  There is a tomorrow.  And it will all be there then, unless someone else does it.  And if they do?  I'll thank them.  And if there's no tomorrow here on Earth.  I'll thank Him.  :-)

Small Town

I remember when I was little, when I would see Sanford on the news I would seriously feel like we were SO awesome!! Like we had MADE IT!!! it could have been that they were simply rattling off temperatures, it was just on a map or a story was actually from here. But, it didn't matter. If my little town got any air time...I was excited!!!

Now, I wish I didn't hear it so much on the news. Crime, murder, tornadoes, immigration woes...these are not the things you want attached to your town!!  Makes me sad.  Which, as you'll remember....will probably make me CRY!!  :-)

Avalaaaaaaanche!!!

So, we had one that looked like this:

That was June of 2010...and it was a great vehicle.  We loved that we had the same interior as my Tahoe but had the ability to haul some things (no, not as much as a REAL truck but we don't do a lot of hauling).  Well, fast forward to Sept of 2012 (or, now) and that truck had ALMOST

60 THOUSAND miles

I mean this guy burns the ROAD up!  Driving to work alone is about 100 miles a day!  Beach trips, golf trips, etc etc.  So, there is that magical time where you have high miles, a payoff that is not terrible and you can actually get out of your high mileage vehicle and SAVE MONEY.  That's what we did.  He went, put nothing down and came away saving money on our monthly payment.  We will always have a car payment, so I'm just all about lowering it.  IT worked!  Woo Hoo!  

So, today we have this:

It's a 2012 Avalanche in Summit White!  It has a few things on it that his older model didn't have, but overall is the same vehicle.  He's happy, we're saving around $150 a month on our payment...it was a win for us!!

I am who I am (From May 10, 2008)

So I found this journal nugget in my email.  I wrote it on Saturday, May 10, 2008.  Very interesting!!

The truth about the truth I am what am I.  And I'm finding that fact more and more hard to swallow at times.  If you asked me my strengths, certainly I'd mention the fact that I try to make everyone happy.....however, I'm finding, more and more, that it's a weakness too.  Who ever thought that trying to be sweet and kind and likeable would be a bad thing?  However, I believe it's led to many dismal relationships and several dysfunctional friendships.  I am that friend who tells you want you want to hear.  I listen without prejudice...I cry with my friends, I laugh with them, and I always let them know that I am there for them.  That sounds good, right?  Ha.  I've learned that maybe when I said, "hmm I don't know", I should have said, "ARE YOU CRAZY?"  That sometimes, when I said, "well, I understand that" I should have responded with a slight, "I can't believe you said that."  And overwhelmingly, when asked the question, "did I do the right thing?"  I should have been brutally honest.  I am just not that person.  I cannot be mean or cynical or "tell it like it is"....there are so many people that do that so well, but I am just not built that way.  I'm the nice girl.  The one who listens and smiles and takes you to lunch because you're having a bad day.  I take pride in the fact that I am that person, but I'm starting to feel like I've done a disservice to my friends and family.  There have been some major things that my friends have done that I totally did NOT agree with.  But what did I say?  Nothing.  I am obviously just so fearful that I'll make someone mad, I just let it go.  And what am I proving by that?  When someone does something that is SO SO SO against every piece of my being, and I say nothing, am I not appearing to agree with it??  That's what concerns me.  I'm really just trying to feel good in my own skin.  I absolutely have a wonderful life, a great family and so much to be thankful for.  So, to be quite honest, I am trying to be sure that I am being the best person that I can be.  The Lord has blessed ME with so much......I feel that the least I can do is be sure that I'm living my life to the fullest.  It's caused me to pray a lot, read His word more, and to evaluate all of my friendships.  I have really been thinking about this so much.  And I have talked to a few people about it.  My boss (also a great friend) has convinced me that I'm doing the best I can, that I am not the one to judge (which yes I agree with) and that I don't need to change.  But, my hubby sees the actual situations that I've dealt with and says, "why didn't you say this" or "why didn't you tell her what you think" and feels like I need to speak my mind, even when it runs the risk of hurting someone, just to be honest.  I really just don't know if it's worth it.  I hate hurting anyone's feelings....but then again, what if they just need a gut check and they would question a bad decision if I did open my mouth?  Hmm.

Friday Note of Praise

Guess what happened last night?  I went to sleep at 9:45 PM, EST.  I mean, BEFORE TEN PEEE EMMM.  WHAT?  I know, it doesn't sound like that early.  But for me, that's early for non-mono.  For mono, that's basically a day ahead of time.  :-)  I was up at 5:30 which is a tad early but I will take it.  I can't even express the feeling of hope that I have for today.  I still feel so silly for feeling so horrible with this thing.  When so many others are suffering from so much more.  I also know that this is my reality for right now.  The joint pain, the exhaustion, the sore throat, the brain-sluggishness - all those things are more than any symptoms to me.  They basically are abnormal.  They don't make me feel like Jamie Jones.  I happen to like Jamie Jones.  :-)  That's what I miss most.  Feeling like me.  I hope I find me again...really soon!

Green, yellow and red - OH MY!!

I feel like I seriously have post-traumatic stress disorder when it comes to storms!  I am freaked out by ANY storm but especially one that includes an "elevated" or "moderate" risk of tornadic activity.  Today is one of those days.

Photo from WRAL here:  Website

MJ's Birth Announcement

So I finally made one!  Woo Hoo!  I mean...she's only 4...so it's not TOO late, right?  ;-)

Mono y Mono

So in Spanish, that means "hand to hand" or denotes a fight between two people without weapons.  

I feel like that's what my body is doing to me!  Fighting me.  However, I feel like it might have weapons.  Like:

• fatigue
• dizziness
• joint pain
• back pain
• headache
• loss of appetite
• swollen spleen

I am just totally spent.  I feel like I've been run down.  Also?  It gets in the old noggin.  So, add depressed to all of that up there.  Thankfully, I'm smack dab in the throws of a Beth Moore Bible study and nothing makes you feel like a loved, treasured child of the King like the Bible.  So, I'm going to start on next week and try to ignore that bulleted list up there.  Night...err...mornin....

Pillow Talk

I need pillows.  I buy pillows at Walmart or Belk or Ross or wherever.  I don't invest a ton in them and then I end up replacing them way more often than I think I should.  I'm in need of a pillow personal shopper.

I found this one page on this topic:  Good Housekeeping Product Review.  I love Good Housekeeping and their articles but sometimes I do wish I had more of a friendly recommendation.

Hmm.  I guess this subject came up due to the fact that I've pretty much been in my bed more in the last week than in months.  Mono does that to ya.

By Philip Friedman/Studio D

Okay, back to bed.

Update on Baby (from 9-11-07)

Just got back from Dr a few minutes ago.....everything is going fine and the baby's heart rate was between 150 and 160.  Baby is about 12 ounces now and was insanely stubborn with feet in between the legs the ENTIRE time!!!!!  So, I have no more gender news.....just the news that two weeks ago it was 75% girl.  :-)  We'll see in the future I suppose! 

I'm doing fine, a little sick today but that's become quite normal.....and have gained only 6 pounds my entire pregnancy so far!  I'm shocked to be honest! 

We are picking up the crib tonight and that will be our next little project!!!  Wish us luck!

Thanks to everyone for your support and love and prayers!!!  We appreciate it so much!! 

I attached two ultrasound pics...

Jme & Baby

My Tender Heart

I've always been "tender-hearted"...I've always cried at sappy movies.  I've always teared up when there's a sad commercial.  (Folgers, Hallmark....whew!)  When I am in full-on worship, that's likely characterized by tears streaming down my face.  When Mike talks about our relationship, his love for our children or anything sensitive at all - I do the ugly cry more often than not.  It's funny that I just KNOW it now.  I have no idea what to do about it...if anything...but I know that it's just a part of me.  I've thought about meds because I am sure they would work, but again, I also feel that it's a part of me.  Sometimes I do get embarrassed by it, sometimes I am sure my family does too, but mostly - I accept it and so do they.  Thank the good Lord they do - otherwise, I might...CRY....

What soap is for the body, tears are for the soul.  ~Jewish Proverb

My first wreath!

I'm pretty excited about this!  My Mom has always made these and they are beautiful!  I didn't know I was even capable of making this because I am SO not the hands-on creative person.  I can think of it, make a spreadsheet about it and certainly delegate the duties necessary to create it....but DOING it, friends, is not my thing.  But...I made it my thing!  So proud of myself!  Can't wait to do another!

Memories

I remember events.  I remember things I feel like I should.  I remember most appointments and important dates and big deals.  But....when it comes to lots of small things...lots of young life things...I just frankly DO NOT REMEMBER.  It's not about one particular time period in my life (like tenth grade) or a certain person being involved (like a boy, perhaps).  I dare say that maybe there are hurts there...maybe pain...a bit of stupidity....maybe just silly-ness....that the good Lord just doesn't want me to remember.  I have no idea what the reason is, but I know it's there.  I've often even worried about it...like I was worried I had something really wrong with me.  Beyond what I already know....  :-)  But I don't worry anymore over it.  I appreciate the memories that I do have and I do crave to remember more.  When I find a picture or a blurb of something I wrote, I do what I can to figure out what piece of my life that was from....I am serious when I say that some things I have NO memory of.  I guess that's why I take SO many pictures now - and I try to write things down more often.  I make notes and write things in my calendars (which I keep every one of) and I hope to not lose fragments as the years keep going by.  Any ideas on better ways to document life?  I'd sure love to hear them!!

Blogs - Coming Soon

I have found myself recently starting a blog because there's something that I want to document whether it's a thought or event or discussion point....and then I don't finish it.  I have tons of drafts of things.  And maybe even some are because I want them to be private - which I made myself promise I wouldn't do with this blog.  So, over the next few days I am going to just finish them, or just publish them as is.  I just have to!  It irritates my teeny bit of OCD-ness to have so many drafts!  Ugh!  Okay...so you've been warned......

Watch this!!

My sweet, hardworking, high-maintenance husband is into watches. Like, think about how I'm 'into' purses. And shoes. Yeah, that's the level I speak of!! I've never bought him a 'luxury' one. Now is not the time, either, with the house hunting...obviously! But, I need a plan...a goal... I've bought him tons if Guess, Fossil, a Tommy Bahama...and they are all nice-ish. But, I want a WOW factor watch. Keep in mind I will be in the Bahamas again this December...so I will have duty free options. I just need to decide on one and try to budget, save and commit! I've shopped Tag, Breitling, Rolex (which is my least fave)....what am I missing? Anyone!?

Quick Beach Trip

We decided to have one last fling at the beach for the day on Saturday.  Our family of five + sun + fun + lots of driving + donuts + sand.  We left around 9 and headed out!  We decided to drive the "old way", HWY 421 all the way there.  It.was.long.  But, it was nostalgic.  Growing up, this was really the only way we ever went and it was neat weird nice to see how it all had changed so much.  I just realized I didn't take a pic of my hubby driving!  Wow!  A first!  :-(

As we came into Wilmington/Carolina Beach, we stopped at Buffalo Wild Wings.  Give the boys chicken and an abundance of televisions and they are happy.  (Mike is included in that, btw.)

The boys, waiting on yummy food.

MJ snuggles her Daddy every time she has a chance.

We ate, watched the beginning of the UNC - Elon game and then headed off to the Boardwalk at Carolina Beach.  Traffic was crazy!  (Yes, I know, it was Labor Day.)  However, the Boardwalk was not crazy.  There was a steady flow of people passing through but it was kinda sad to me how very deserted it looked.  Of course, this place wasn't deserted....

Then we walked on the beach for a short time.  A VERY short time.  The sand was burning my soles...I mean BURNING!  I guess this is why we go in the fall or winter.  However, my baby girl picked up seashells and that made her day!

Then, we rode.  We talked.  We laughed.  We slept.  It was nice to have all the kids captive and be able to talk...and listen.  I was afraid they were bored....they assured me they weren't.  They are all like Mike and myself.  The love to ride.  It's not even about where we are going.  Just being together, soaking up the moments that we are able to spend together.  Not working, not worrying about school or anything else.  Just being with each other.  Mike told the kids about how right after we got married we surely logged hundreds of miles going to lighthouses, different islands of the OBX and checking things out.  It wasn't really about any certain destination...it was just about hanging out with one another.  I'm so glad that my children are completely satisfied with just hanging out with us.  Oh.  And we sang.  Okay, me and MJ did.  We rocked out Taylor Swift and Carrie Underwood.  Sorry, boys.  :-)