Prayers for today!

If you've been following my mono progress...you will know that it's been almost THREE WEEKS.  Which, by the way, is tooooo long!  From what I have heard/read that's about normal, though many people (women, especially) do experience issues far longer than this.  But we are not going there.  Nope!

I have a follow up appointment with my Doctor this afternoon.  Pray that it goes well, I feel good enough to be there and that I don't fall out.  Being "up and about" has been the issue lately.  Getting up too quickly and getting dizzy or feeling hot and like I'm going to pass out - those are the things that keep me home.  Well, that and feeling like I need to sleep 16 hours a day.  During the day.  It's no fun, y'all!!!!

Thanks for the prayers so far...

Grateful Post 9-27-12

I have been doing these for a while and started sharing them on IG.  It occurred to me that not everyone is there and that I want to be sure I have them in a safe place!  I love looking back on them...especially on a bad day!  

Mono Teachings

Mono has taught me a few things.  I have listed some here.  I honestly could do one of these a DAY!!!  (Maybe there are more than a few here.  The rest are free, too, y'all!)

• You can actually feel like you've rested TOO MUCH.
• Beds are actually kinda boring after a few weeks in them.
• Online retail therapy is actually as satisfying as being in public.
• You can spend more than you make in a day on a down comforter.
• My hubby loves me more than I realize.  He has taken SUCH good care of me!
• Buying hairspray online is cheaper than in real life.
• I say "in real life" a lot, like the internet is FAKE.
• I really do depend on social interaction.
• Mono is worse than you think.
• Sometimes when friends/family say, "call me if you need something", they actually do mean it.
• Lowes Foods to go is the best thing everrrr.  (Okay, already knew that.)
• Short term disability is not just for pregnancy. (I didn't wanna. Nurse at Pentair said I should.)
• My boss is one of the most compassionate, understanding people I know!
• My employees are so capable of stepping up and taking on more in my absence.  Thought it probably but know for SURE now.
• Cards are really seriously one of my fave things.  I have gotten a few and I treasure them so much!!!
• Reading the Bible is so much better in a Bible study format.  I like instant reassurance that I know what the Bible is saying.

What's this blog for?

I hope that everyone knows that this blog is very personal to me.   I'm not a famous person, someone with a ton of blogger friends or even anyone remotely important.  I don't promote my blog, I don't talk about it outside of Twitter (where I have a handful of followers) and a few times on FB and that's just the way I want it.  Blogging is therapeutic for me.

See, I've always had this thing about something being in my head and needing to get it out.  Whether it was scratching an idea for work on a pad beside my bed at 4 am or calling someone RIGHT back to tell them something new that just popped into my brain five seconds after we just hung up - I am not a "mull it over" kinda gal.  I prefer to download it and be done with it.  That's what blogging is about to me.  Whether it's a big topic or a little one, something that has absolutely no importance outside of my world or something that could potentially make someone feel a certain emotion - I do it for me.  It's one of the FEW selfish things of my life.

I have tried really hard to continue to put things out there that are real, honest, and timely.  I enjoy that people usually contact me privately about things I say and we have a healthy dialogue about it!  I just never want anyone to say "who really cares what she has to say?"....because that would make me wonder the same thing, shut down and retreat.  I've fought with self-esteem issues all of my life and me putting myself out there is a big step.  I hope if you're reading, you'll feel good about that.  That you are reading something that I probably never thought anyone besides myself would read.  Thank you, thank you for allowing me to be me and to share a little piece of my life.

Guilty of a Happy Marriage

I feel bad from time to time about talking about how happy Mike and I are....and then, I stop.  Because I *am* happy and I don't think I should feel guilty about that.  I am blessed and I know it.  I'm appreciative and I thank the Lord for it every day.  Is it perfect?  No.  Do we argue? Yes.  Does it last for days?  NO!

I don't know how to explain it but we are both so very appreciative of one another that we just simply don't let time pass without letting each other KNOW that.  We are very careful to not sweat the small stuff.  We are open, honest, and truly try to make each other happy every single day.

And if you have a similar relationship - good for you!  And if you don't, I sincerely hope one day you do.

Either way, I won't apologize about my happiness.  Ever again.

Slow Down

Slow Down. 

So, I’ve never been really good at SEEING signs or UNDERSTANDING an answer from God.  Sure, I’d ask.  I’d pray.  I’d hope that I was doing the right thing and I’d eventually seem to get it right most of the time.  But, I wasn’t ever really sure.  Mostly, I’d lack the peace of feeling that my path was the right one.  I have also always tried to look at the good in every situation.  I’ve tried to pick things apart to feel like I could see why God would allow things to happen.  Even in a big picture kind of way, I’d feel like I had a vague understanding of a reason behind why a loving God would let bad things happen to good people.  It’s one thing to believe in God’s plan and another thing to trust it when it means that something bad has to happen to you or a loved one. 

I truly believe that I have been CHANGED lately.  I’m not sure if I am less stubborn or more faithful.  If I have more clarity or less ignorance.  One thing I know for sure….I asked for something.  God provided it.  Ever since I heard the news that I had mono, I have been a little down in the dumps.  I have had LOTS of rest and sleep and naps and laying around feeling terrible.  I have thought of good reasons as to why this happened now and not a month before or after.  I have also asked God why.  I have been patient to hear his answer.  I have been faithful in my prayer about it as well.  I believe I have my answer.  I almost feel like I’m breaking some confidence between He and I, because He spoke to me so privately, so personally.  But I have to share it.  I was talking about my issues with mono to a loved one and I said…”I don’t know if this was to tell me to slow down, but if so, I’ve done just that.”  At a later time, I wondered if that was it.  Could that have been the purpose of this hardship I’m enduring?  There are many times that I feel like I am running so fast but getting nowhere.  I feel like I’m trying to be the best mom, wife, daughter, aunt, employee, manager, friend – PERSON…that I fail at all of those things a little bit more over time because so many times one takes away from another.  Did I need to slow down?  Doesn’t that contradict getting more done, faster, in a shorter time, in order to please EVERYONE?   I should digress a bit and say that I also just started a new Beth Moore Bible study that focuses on living life to the fullest.  Hmm.  Related?  Maybe.  Okay, back to now.  So…I am questioning this in my mind, in my prayers.  And then, it happens.  I am working from home on Monday for a bit as to not totally lose touch.  I turn on my iTunes music to help me work (it helps me so much).  And a song that I don’t even remember downloading comes to life.  I actually look at the title because when it first comes on it says, “Alright, let’s rock it” and it’s unfamiliar.  The song title is “Slow Down”.  I decide to stop the email that I’m typing and do just that…slow down.  So I listen to Third Day belt out this tune.  The lyrics say:

 “Tell me to slow down, 

if You think that the road that I’m on is going nowhere, 

Tell me to slow down, 

if You know that I’m going too fast for my own good.”  

Tears stream down my face as I figure this out.  This is my answer.  It even says, 

“And, Oh, I don’t want to let go, 

of all the things that I know, 

are keeping me, 

away from my life.”  

Have I been so busy – too busy – to really fix things that are broken?  My faith?  My relationship with my Lord?  I have been reading all of my Beth Moore study even though I’ve not been able to attend and it’s working on my heart.  It is making me want to change and live a fuller life.  Is this one of the ways that I need to do it? To slow down?  Slow down in order to live a life more abundant?  I've been forced to do it.  I haven't had a bit of a choice in the matter.  My Doctor tells me to "rest, rest, and when you feel a bit better, go back to bed!"  But, how am I supposed to take care of my family?  Let them take care of YOU.  How am I supposed to be there for my employees?  Let them take the reins.    How am I supposed to get everything done?  You won't, and life will go on.  I can't even express in words how liberating this is for me.  I don't HAVE TO be everything or do it all or get it all done TODAY.  Because you know what?  There is a tomorrow.  And it will all be there then, unless someone else does it.  And if they do?  I'll thank them.  And if there's no tomorrow here on Earth.  I'll thank Him.  :-)

Small Town

I remember when I was little, when I would see Sanford on the news I would seriously feel like we were SO awesome!! Like we had MADE IT!!! it could have been that they were simply rattling off temperatures, it was just on a map or a story was actually from here. But, it didn't matter. If my little town got any air time...I was excited!!!

Now, I wish I didn't hear it so much on the news. Crime, murder, tornadoes, immigration woes...these are not the things you want attached to your town!!  Makes me sad.  Which, as you'll remember....will probably make me CRY!!  :-)